Years ago during my time in California, I was working as a church planter and a leadership development consultant at a worldwide semiconductor company. Many things brought us to that city, but one in particular came from an “out of the blue” invite from a man I’ll call Charles.
Charles was a well-known ministry leader in the city and in his sixties at that time. He wanted to see a church of missional communities planted, and after a few meetings, we decided to partner together. Unfortunately, when we finally moved to that city, Charles backed out.
Eventually, when I caught up with him, I learned why. “David, I’ve worked as a ministry leader for years, and at this stage in my life, after talking it over with my family, we’re more content to just minister to our neighbors than to get caught up in the trappings that come with more established churches.”
I was confused. Wasn’t this why we were doing this whole church-planting thing? At the time, I was at a different stage in my life and didn’t understand. So I wished him well and carried on my way.
I couldn’t have articulated it then, but I was still at an earlier stage of faith, one focused on teaching and establishing. Charles intuitively knew this and knew he needed something different. Have you encountered an experience like this before?
Stages of Faith
The journey of faith can be described as a series of stages as laid out in Janet Hagberg & Robert Guelich’s book, The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith. Starting with a sense of powerlessness and awe, individuals may progress through stages of belonging, learning, and empowerment after meeting Jesus. However, a significant hurdle usually hits us and a period of doubt and questioning can lead to a crisis of faith. This is called “The Wall,” and often happens in midlife. The Wall separates the earlier stages from the latter ones.
While many churches excel at supporting individuals in the early stages, offering clear beliefs, community, and guidance, when it comes to the later stages of faith, there just doesn’t seem to be support available for these people to continue to grow and flourish.
Herein lies the reason for this blog series.
Why the Shift from Teacher to Fellow Learner Matters
The later stages of faith involve a deeper level of awareness, self-acceptance, and gratitude. While these stages offer a profound sense of spiritual fulfillment, they are best navigated with the right support. So how do we support people (and ourselves) who have moved past the initial stages of faith that traditional models of church are best built to serve? Friends, this is why we need a shift. As my friend Keith Webb says, our problem isn’t lack of information, it’s application. People are tired of perpetually absorbing new teaching; they want to marinate in it and live it. So what can we teachers do when people don’t want to absorb what we have to say anymore?
First, we have to get over the assumption that learning only happens by one person inputting information into another. Learning and growth happens just as much in relationship, sitting still, and even in the quiet. This is why we need a shift from primarily teaching to that of a fellow learner, journeying together as we follow Jesus.
Think about the ways you’ve grown. Hasn’t there been a time in your experience when you grew and learned just from doing life alongside someone? I hope so. Some of my most profound times of growth have been in the ebb and flow of intentional relationships. So how do we shift from merely being a teacher to a fellow learner?
The Strength of Coaching in a Church
This is why I’m such a strong advocate of leaders gaining coaching skills. The skills of question-asking and exploring with yourself and others enable leaders to become fellow learners and share the journey alongside others at different phases of life and faith.
Even more, it’s a great way to engage people in our changing culture. Everyone wants to be heard and have their experience validated. Here are a few ways this can look.
- Think about sitting with someone just to listen to their story with no need to bring it to a moving conclusion. Help them explore and ask them how they think they are growing, or where they sense the closeness of God. Share with them how their story is helping you grow and learn too. Doing so is a type of burden-bearing (Gal. 6:2) and embodies being quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19).
- Consider two or three people who have commonality and could benefit from journeying together for a season. Introduce them and see where it goes. Didn’t Jesus say that where two or more are gathered, He is there (Matt. 18:20)?
- Structurally speaking, does your church have a coaching space where you can call leaders together? This is a space to hear what they are learning, provide an opportunity for them to explore solutions to the challenges they are facing, share from your heart how their ideas matter and are important, and remind them that the Spirit is with them guiding them into all truth (John 16:13).
This is what I mean when I say we need a shift — from leader and teacher to a fellow learner and traveler.
A Co-Learning Family of God
I think back to Charles. If I’d had more awareness of these stages and how people grow, it may or may not have made a difference for him, but it would have for me. Learning to be open-handed with where people are at has made all the difference. Even today with the community of families that meets in our home, I consider all connected to this disciple-making work as important, not just the ones who join in weekly meals. I’m not always great at it, but I still try to connect with these friends throughout the week to learn what they are up to and how they are growing. We’re all part of this web of relationships as a co-learning family of God.
In this blog series, we’re going to highlight the necessary shifts leaders need to make to care for themselves and others in the current reality. Our next blog is going to be on learning to draw out what the Holy Spirit is already doing. I hope you’ll keep reading.
You can continue reading other articles from this series. Click here for Part 2: Drawing Out What the Spirit Has Put In.
Are you looking to elevate your leadership and impact? We want to support you on your leadership journey. Check out Saturate’s Coaching Cohorts or One-On-One Leadership Coaching and learn more about what coaching could mean for your leadership.
